Counseling

 

A husband and wife came for counseling after 15 years of
marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a
passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 15 years they had been married.

  She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unloveable, an entire laundry list of un-met needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.
     

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of
time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after
asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately.

The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze. The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"

   The husband thought for a moment and replied,.. "Well, I can
drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish."

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Christian One Liners

Don't let your worries get the
Best of you; remember, Moses started
Out as a basket case.

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Some people are kind, polite, and
Sweet-spirited until you try to sit in their pews.

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Many folks want to serve God,
But only as advisors.

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It is easier to preach ten sermons
Than it is to live one.

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The good Lord didn't create anything
Without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.

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When you get to your wit's end,
You'll find God lives there.

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People are funny; they want the front
Of the bus, the middle of the road, and
The back of the church.

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Opportunity may knock once, but temptation
Bangs on your front door forever.

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Quit griping about your church;
If it was perfect, you couldn't belong.

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If the church wants a better pastor,
It only needs to pray for the one it has.

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God Himself does not propose to judge
A man until he is dead. So why should you?

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Some minds are like concrete-
Thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.

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Peace starts with a smile.

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I don't know why some people
Change churches; what difference does

It make which one you stay home from?

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A lot of church members who are singing

"Standing on the Promises"

Are just sitting on the premises.

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We were called to be witnesses,

Not lawyers or judges.

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Be ye fishers of men. You catch Them -

He'll clean them.

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Coincidence is when God

Chooses to remain anonymous.

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Don't put a question mark

Where God put a period.

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Don't wait for 6 strong men

To take you to church.

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Forbidden fruits create many jams.

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God doesn't call the qualified,

He qualifies the called.

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God grades on the cross, not the curve.

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God loves everyone, but

probably prefers
"fruits of the spirit" over

"religious nuts!" 

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God promises a safe landing,

Not a calm passage.

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He who angers you, controls you!


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If God is your Co-pilot - swap seats!
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Prayer:

Don't give God instructions --

 just report for duty!

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The task ahead of us is never as
Great as the Power behind us.

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The Will of God never takes you to
Where the Grace of God will not protect you.

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We don't change the message,

The message changes us.

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You can tell how big a person is

By what it takes to discourage him.

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The best mathematical equation

I have ever seen:
1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given.
 

 


 

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