Dead People
     
       
         A  father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her
         prayers which she ended by saying, "God bless mommy, God bless daddy,
         God bless grandma and good-bye grandpa."
       
        The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?"
        The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do."
      
        The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence. A few
        months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers, which went
        like this: "God bless mommy, God Bless daddy and good-bye grandma."
       
        The next day the grandmother died.
      
        Oh my gosh, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side.

         Several  weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say, "God
         bless mommy and good-bye daddy."
       
         He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up  at the crack of dawn to                                                                      go to his office.He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock.

         He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay.
         He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed
         there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound.

         Finally midnight arrived, he breath a sigh of relief and went home.
      
         When he got home his wife said, "I've never seen you work so late, what's the  matter?"
       
         He said, "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life.

        " She said, "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what
         happened to me. This morning the milkman dropped dead on our porch."
 

The Preacher

The Alabama preacher said to his congregation, "Someone in this
congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This
is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate.

I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party
who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian Family."

No one moved. The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me
and admit this falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart
you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression."

Again all was quiet.

Then slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop traffic rose
from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke,
"Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a
member of the KKK. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."

The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted, and the congregation roared.