The Most Important Discoveries

Man discovered weapons, invented hunting.
Woman discovered hunting, invented furs.

Man discovered colors, invented painting.
Woman discovered painting, invented make-up.

Man discovered speech, invented conversation.
Woman discovered conversation, invented gossip.

Man discovered agriculture, invented food.
Woman discovered food, invented diet.

Man discovered friendship, invented love.
Woman discovered love, invented marriage.

Man discovered trade, invented money.
Woman discovered money, man has never recovered.

NYPD had good luck with a robbery suspect, who just couldn't control
himself during a lineup. Detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat
the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot." One of them, when it
was his turn, shouted, "That's not what I said!"



A man is golfing with his wife. He hits off the 5th tee and leaves the ball in
front of a barn. His wife looks at him and says open the doors and just hit
it through the open doors of the barn and you will be on the green. He its
the ball it goes into the barn hits a beam bounces around and flys out the
same door toward them hitting his wife in the head and killing her.
A year later he was golfing at the same course and he had a caddy. On the
5th tee he hits the ball and would you believe it it lands in front of the same
barn. The caddy says, "Wait a minute, I will open the doors and you can hit
it through the barn and be on the green in two." The golfer says, "No way,
man, I had this exact same shot last year and I took it, it bounced around and
came out the same door and I was penalized two strokes!!!"



A man in a bar orders 3 beers. The bartender asks: "Why 3?" The man says he
and his brothers have lived in different cities for a long time and when he goes
to the bar he always drinks for his brothers as well. One day the man only
orders 2 beers. So, the bartender asks him if one of his brothers died. The man
says: "No, I quit drinking."